First of all, this song is proof that you should never make assumptions about who loves sports. I always thought I had a knack for giving someone the once over and determining right then and there if they were a sports fan or not. Prince would have gotten an immediate 'not.' I mistakenly thought his performance at Superbowl XLI was just another stop on his grand tour of world domination... not because he actually likes football. And not to perpetuate stereotypes or anything, but who would have thought that football would appeal to a purple velvet-wearing pop icon with questionable sexuality who changed his name into an androgynous symbol?
Almost as surprising as Prince's enthusiasm for football was how horrifically bad his new song is. I was seriously hoping for another 'Little Red Corvette' or 'When Doves Cry' hit that I could listen to not only while being forced to watch football, but also maybe on the dance floor at a cheesy bachleorette party or something. Dedicated to Minnesota Vikings and billed as a "fight song" for the team, it reminded me of a cross between my junior high spirit song, a wacky rock opera ballad and a theme song from a role-playing fantasy video game. Take a listen.
the veil of the sky draws open
the roar of the chariots touch down
we r the ones who have now come again
and walk upon water like solid ground
as we approach the throne we won't bow down
this time we won't b denied
Biblical language is sooo hot right now. You'd think he was singing about the rapture or something, but nope, it's Minnesota Vikings football. He must have received a heavenly vision that he hadn't had any publicity in a while and needed to ride on the Vikings' coattails to get back in the news for a couple days.
raise every voice and let it b known
in the name of the purple and gold
we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold
Now wait just a minute there. Now that I think about it, maybe it does make sense that Prince likes the Vikings. Purple and Gold!? His signature colors? I'm not saying, I'm just saying.
the eyes say ready 4 battle
no need 4 sword in hand
we r all amped up like a rock n roll band
ready 2 celebrate every score
ready 2 fight the elegant war
ready 2 hear the crowd roar
The lyrics from this verse are a pretty rousing attempt at a rally cry -- amped! fight! roar! -- but the eerie, disorienting melody would take just about all the "fight" out of any athlete I know. Not that I'd know what motivates a football player or anything, but he should have taken cues from the classics - "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor or Van Halen's "Jump!" or ACDC's "TNT." Or basically anything you'd find on a high school varsity team's warm up mix tape.
r spirits may b tired
r bodies may b worn
but since this day is r destiny
r history - that's y we must b
4ever strong as the wind that blows the Vikings' horn
in the name of the purple and gold
I have to wonder, what's up with all the teenager abbreviations for 'to' and 'for.' After all, The Artist is a sophisticated, worldly man of unlimited means. And I am an editor that judges. So I'd expect him to be 'above' using numbers in place of prepositions.
Anyway, I don't really care who wins tonight (shocker, right?) but I will give Prince an 'A' for effort.
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